Seven years ago, I wrote this letter to my father on the anniversary of his passing. Now for Fathers' Day, I am resending it, with love.
Hi Dad, it’s me, Jo.
Hard to believe it’s been 15 years since I held your hand, 15 years since I kissed your familiar, Old Spice scented cheek.
I wish you’d allowed us to talk about the fact that you were dying. We all had to say goodbye in so many coded, oblique ways in those seven short weeks of your illness. Do you remember? I said to you, “I can’t imagine a world without you in it,” and that was the closest you allowed me to come to “I love you.”
The nearest you came to admitting you knew you wouldn’t be leaving the hospice was: “do what needs to be done.” You meant, don’t let me suffer and the wonderful staff there made sure that you didn’t.
It’s true that time is a great healer. After 15 years I don’t think about you every single...
Last week I flew into Bordeaux, wearing my other "hat" as a Portrait and Personal Branding Photographer. I had three lovely ladies to photograph, all entrepreneurs, plus some "action shots" of the Business Retreat, run by coach, Karen Kissane. As I was there for the whole three days, I got to take part in some off the sessions and took advantage of the time to take a step back and really think about the direction I am taking with both my work and personal life.
Why am I telling you this? Well, it struck me that some of the exercises I did and the epiphany that I had might be relevant to many of my fellow "midlifers"!
This is a time for us to stop and reflect, a time of so many changes, challenges and opportunities. The Midlife Movement is about so much more than just the menopause!
The exercise that gave me most pause for thought was one on values. We were given a sheet of paper with lists of words like "family", "independence", "trust", "home" etc - you get the picture. The...
Introducing Vivienne Joy, Queen of helping people "get out of their own way" and achieve incredible mindset shifts in life and business. I am delighted that Vivienne agreed to be one of the expert contributors in the Membership and her course, called "7 Steps to Stress Less", is both thought provoking and transformative.
Viv talked to me during Launch Week about her work and why she wanted to be involved with The Midlife Movement. You can find out more about Vivienne and her work here: She Enjoys Business Movement.
Talking about stress, I had a funny old day recently.
I was supposed to be going to London to a meet-up with an organisation I belong to called Project Positive Change, so I got all dressed up (ok, I admit it - that means I brushed my hair...) and went down to the station.
Catching a train and finding places I don't know when I have to be somewhere at a set time are, for me, a couple of those silly, irrational stresses we can all have, so I suppose I was probably a...
In The Midlife Movement Facebook Group we've been talking about self care this week. What it is and whether we do it and why we should if we don't.
I've been watching a BBC comedy on iplayer called Mum. The first episode of series one takes place on the day of the funeral of the lead character, Cathy's, husband. The three series then meander through the next two years of Cathy's life as she comes to terms with widowhood and deals with her daft yet demanding family.
Sounds like a barrel of laughs, doesn't it? :-) It is one of those quiet, very British shows, (think The Detectorists) that observe life and point out its absurdities using exaggeration and characters that verge on the grotesque - and some who tip over.
Through it all runs the thread of Cathy's emerging romantic feelings for her lifelong friend, Michael. Michael has been in love with her since they were 17 but never burdens her with his feelings, simply watching out for her and showering her with kindness. He's always...
So many women tell me they lost their confidence as they approached menopause. For some it's a sudden omg, stop in their tracks moment, often accompanied by a panic attack. For others it's a gradual wearing down, a slowly dawning realisation that everything they had been certain of before suddenly isn't so certain any more.
Sometimes, there seems to be no apparent reason for this loss of confidence. Anxiety, depression, a feeling of being lost can come out of nowhere. So what can cause this loss of confidence and what can we do we do to arrest it? How do we get our mojo back?
1. Physical appearance. Slowing metabolism often results in weight gain, especially around the middle. Facially, we lose collagen and start to notice a softening in the jawline, wrinkles, eye bags - if we feel we don't recognise ourselves in the mirror any more it can knock confidence.
In the third of our three week series of blogs on dealing with the difficulties of peri-menopause and menopause, I want to focus on natural remedies - some of which are regarded as "alternative" or "complementary".
Below is a whistle stop round up of some of the things we can try, with case studies and advice from a variety of therapists:
Personally, I found cutting back on sugar and eating a diet abundant with fresh vegetables and fruit really helped to reduce hot flushes and night sweats.
Here's what Shannon Howe, Nutritional Therapist at I Cook, You Serve has to say:
"The changes that our bodies go through in a lifetime are far reaching, it is remarkable how some women breeze through these changes whilst others feel like they are wading through treacle. And whilst you can’t control these changes, you can use...
What is the difference between Peri-Menopause and Menopause?
It’s important to understand the difference between peri-menopause and menopause. I’d like to say that peri-menopause is your body's way of gently leading you into the next stage of life, but let’s face it, there is nothing gentle about it!
Peri-menopause can start as early as ten years before you are in full menopause, which is why it’s so easy to misdiagnose. The menopause itself occurs when the ovaries finally stop producing eggs altogether and is judged to be complete when a woman has not had a period for 12 months. The symptoms that cause so many women difficulty generally occur during the peri-menopause - the years leading up to full menopause.
We often hear stories where women feel they are too young to go through the menopause which makes it easier for us to accept it when a doctor diagnoses us with simple depression or anxiety, mistaking the symptom for the problem.
To the woman who has seen and seized the opportunity of midlife, this is for you too!
To the woman who is excited about her life now and wants to make the most of it, this is for you!
To the woman who wants to celebrate her life with friends, old and new, this is for you!
We are coming to the end of Launch fortnight and I am delighted that so many of you have taken advantage of the opening offer and joined us for the year! Whilst I welcome you on a rolling monthly contract, I think that a year is a good period to really dig in and achieve tangible results from the courses and resources in the Membership.
As part of my marketing efforts over the past few days, I described several scenarios that might prompt you to join this wonderful community of women. (READ "I SEE YOU!") I was talking to a lovely lady recently who was clearly one of the 25% of us who sail through midlife. She's vibrant, confident and excited about what midlife brings.
"What's in it for me?"...
How well do you breathe?
If you're anything like me, day to day you breathe from the chest as you rush about "doing" stuff. Yoga Teacher, Teacher Trainer and Midlife Movement Coach, Dawn Wright, talked to me live about the importance of taking a moment to breathe properly.
Dawn has a wonderful course in the Midlife Movement Membership with four nourishing breathing practices that will make a real difference to your life. Members have full access to all the courses and resources in the Membership. You can have a taster "breathing pause" here, at 10:44.
The Midlife Movement can help you embrace your middle years with less stress and more joy! How?
Join our free Facebook Group (be sure to answer the questions)
Download our free resources: www.themidlifemovement.com
And Join us in The Midlife Movement Community. For less than the price of lunch with friends, you’ll be getting confidence, friendship, knowledge and support....
To the woman who woke up this morning and had to fight the urge to put her head back under the duvet. Who maybe groans a little when she rolls out of bed because everything aches.
To the woman who doesn't recognise the face in the mirror, who feels a little sad as she watches as the water runs down her body in the shower, whose hair is losing its colour and whose clothes suddenly feel a little tight around the middle.
To the woman who dashes about to get her family off to school/college/work, who puts on the radio while she works around the house so that she doesn't feel lonely. The woman who feels strangely invisible as she walks along the street.
To the woman whose career has lost its shine, who feels overlooked as younger colleagues are promoted above her. The woman who has a hot flush as she's giving a presentation and wonders if anyone has noticed, who struggles to concentrate at the end of the day:
To the woman caring for elderly parents, constantly...