Watching the Royal Wedding, I was struck by how alone the Bride’s mother appeared. I was reminded of the day my daughter was married and how many mixed emotions there were swirling through my mind, and I wanted to give the new Duchess’ mother, Doria, a huge hug! I wonder what she said to her daughter as they travelled to the chapel?
This is the letter I wrote to my daughter:
So here we are on the eve of your wedding – your last day as a Blackwell. Tomorrow you will make the biggest commitment of your life so far and all your family and friends will gather together to witness the vows that you – and Frank – are about to make.
The day is yours, but your marriage belongs also to family and society at large, for a wedding is not just about the joining together of two people, but the beginning of a family unit. Whether that remains the two of you, or whether you are blessed with children, I know that you both will take that responsibility seriously.
He’s a nice chap, that Frank. To be honest (I daren’t say to be frank!) I was a little concerned at first, knowing that you’re likely to remain as poor as church mice for the foreseeable future. Your tastes have always run more to Tiffany and Moet rather than Walmart and beer – in other words you have what my nan used to call a “Champagne taste on a beer income”. But I see the way he looks at you, I have watched how he has cared for you and loved you, and I see the difference that love has made to you and I know you are both wealthy in all the ways that matter. Plus I am actually quite fond of him.
Dad will be making a speech tomorrow. Ominously, it’s all in his head and he won’t discuss it. So I thought I’d say what I want to say here. After 31 years I think I can claim to be reasonably knowledgeable about marriage. So here, for you, and any young woman reading, is my checklist for a happy marriage (from the woman’s point of view – maybe I should write a separate letter to Frank…!)
That’s about it really. Take the time tomorrow to breathe and enjoy the perfect day you have planned so carefully. And step into this new chapter of your life with a spring in your step and a light heart – there is no better way to live than with someone you love, who loves you, by your side.
Good luck, my darling, and may all that you wish for yourselves come to pass.
What advice did you/would you give your daughter? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
© Jo Blackwell
Photo Credits: Cristina Rossi Photography and Kim Masters
Taken from my new book, “Oh Crap – I’m 50! A Journey from Fearful to Fabulous (Sometimes)” available now on Amazon
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